My Milkshake Brings all the Boys to the Yarrd!!….

And then what?…

According to Kelis, “milkshake” in the song is used as a metaphor for “something that makes women special”…. others have said that the “milkshake” stands for the woman’s sex appeal; It means she attracts all the guys in the area just by appearing there.

What ever “Milkshake” means to you (in this example/context) please make sure you seek to analyse it, and question if its right or ok to use it in such a way.

For example; Is your “Milkshake” your looks, a specific body part/asset, your intelligence?!?! etc….

I see too many girls, ladies, females etc using their ‘beauty’ to attract, however they fail to keep the guys attention for long periods of time. I don’t know about you, but i feel like my eyes are being bombarded with girls, women who refuse to keep their body parts to themselves.

See through Leggings
Inappropriately See Through Leggings

From walking the streets and spotting under-dressed women, in see through leggings, overly revealing tops, ‘batty riders’ (with or with out Sun shine), to the likes of  Social Networking sites (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc) where girls insist on posting up pictures revealing way too much.


Pictures say a thousand words, if you’re a single young female looking to at some point settle in to a committed loving relationship, what do you want your future partner to know about you? How do you want to be seen? Is this really ok? Why is it seemingly acceptable to upload a picture like the above and then write a caption like ‘I love God’. This doesn’t add up.

I’m all for women looking beautiful, but my issue is with the way women are lacking Decorum.

Decorum – appropriate behaviour, good manners, decency, demeanor, respectability, dignity, politeness…

Showing more flesh doesn’t mean you’re more beautiful, wearing minimal clothing doesn’t grant you more respect, revealing more body parts doesn’t get you Love, leaving the house in ill-fitting clothes doesn’t mean Men find you more attractive. In fact Men are forced to look by default, that’s just how they are wired.

I totally understand that you want to be noticed, seen, loved, adored, included etc but this is not the way forward.

What is wrong with looking Attractive in a  Respectable way?… Does it sound boring?… Well, it doesn’t need to be!


You say you want a Real Man to love you, value you, show you commitment, yet wonder why you are only attracting the  same ol’ Dawgs, Players & Boys?!

Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain because it is not lasting.

Your natural beauty is what will attract The Right Man and/or Respectable Attention. If you are looking to attract the Right kind of Man then what you actually want to do is increase your Confidence, as that’s more attractive than cleavage. I know that I feel more attractive and confident wearing clothing that’s comfortable, that fits, that shows off my assets, not reveals my asset. If I’m wearing make up its to enhance my beauty, highlight my eyes, cheek bones etc not to totally appear as a different person or complexion.

Respectable Men are more attracted to you if you:

– Smile; a warm smile is very attractive, you look nicer when you smile.

– Are Genuinely Friendly and Humble

– Are Honest; being transparent is key, no game playing, be honest, tell the truth, you don’t need to lie it’s not worth it.

– Are Confident; get comfortable in your own skin, work with what God gave you. You were Fearfully & Wonderfully made.

– Are Knowledgeable; smart, well read etc. No one is asking for a genius, but at least be knowledgeable about the things you take interest in, your field of work etc. If you end up meeting someone who is in a similar field to you, your able to hold a conversation, you’ll have something in common & you’ll seem intelligent.

As my husband says you want a..

“Beauty that attracts, Love that keeps and Faith that Makes”. – @MrVitoSpeaks


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Love & Blessings


Are all Men Dawgs?

I hear too many times Women complain about Men…..

‘All Men are Dawgs’… ‘All Men are Liars’… ‘All Men are Cheaters’… ‘All Men are the Same’…

In these instances this is coming from a place of hurt. There is no denying that in the past you may have been hurt by a guy, yes he may have lied, cheated, been abusive, etc and No you didn’t deserve it. But to generalise all Men as Liars, Cheaters & Dawgs  etc is not healthy.

I recommend dealing with the hurt that was caused, you need to acknowledge that who ever caused the hurt is not worth your time, love or thoughts. Name and shame the person, not publicly but privately sometimes we make excuses for the dumb stuff they did and never really deal with the raw fact that he was dishonest. We need to;

‘Stop Rewarding Bad Behaviour with Dedication’ – @MrVitoSpeaks

The sooner you start to deal with your past mistakes and clear out tainted views of ‘All Men’, the sooner you’ll be able to SEE yourself being approached by a Genuine, Honest and Faithful Man. You will not recognise Love that you have not prepared for.

Chivalry – Derived from the Medieval Times and linked to the customs of medieval knighthood; a Knight was expected to be courageous, generous and courteous.


However, fast forward 1500 years and Chivalry is seen as something that’s ‘Dead’ or that Men have ‘old fashioned’ views like;

1 – Holding the Door open

2 – Walking on the side of the pavement closest to the road

3 – Offering to help you carry your heavy load

4 –  Offering his jacket if its cold or raining

5 – Paying for the outing

Yet I hear you saying that these Men are Creepy, Strange, Controlling or only Want Something i.e my money or sex.

I’m not in-denial that there are some guys out their who make love a game, they know what to say & do it to get the girl to do something in return. I’m talking about the genuine guys who show and act out of love, kindness, who have self control and are gentle.

‘Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?’

Your desire should be to have a Faithful Man who isn’t shy to;

1 –  Honor his word and keep his promises

2 – Actually pay attention to you when you speak

3 – Is honest and doesn’t play Games with the heart of a Genuine woman

4 – Sticks up for you

5 – Is proud to present you to his friends and family.


Women primarily need Security in their relationships, so ideally your Boyfriend, Fiancé, Husband should be making you feel this.

Your past experiences may make it seem like meeting a Man that wants to Protect you, is Sensitive to your needs, is Faithful and has Integrity; is a bad thing.

That being said most women have been given the reputation of being ‘Nagging’, but as a good woman you are unlikely to “Nag”  if he meets the above requirements.


Please feel free to subscribe and leave your comments. For Learning Engagements, Problems & Personal Development Enquiries send your emails to;

Love & Blessings


4 Things Attractive People Can Do Whilst They Wait for Love

single and waitingI have previously shared my thoughts on what to do when you’ve come out of a long term Relationship or have experienced a Break up. Generally I advise that you evaluate what happened and what went wrong, so that you can work on Developing yourself for the next Right Relationship.

Lets be real, after a Break-up, whilst your trying really hard to ‘Focus’ on you, embracing being single, re-educating yourself on expectations of Men, Women & Relationships. You WILL be approached by Interested parties, you WILL attract people, you may even be asked out….. Its inevitable, because you’re a beautiful, handsome, intelligent & loving person…. I could go on!

The Question is – How to do you handle this attention?… Especially if you’re not really ready to commit or you are being approached by the wrong people.

Well, I encourage you to read my Husbands post  –  4 Things Attractive People Can Do With Their Beauty.