Dear Mrs Vito,

I fell in love with my close female friend of many years. We decided to maintain a long distant relationship, when we went to different Universities in different countries. However now that I’ve graduated and shes still studying, contact is non existent. If we do communicate, mainly initiated by me, she shuts me out, i feel like shes now interested in someone else. 

Dear Anon,

For a couple that was in love, having non existent communication is a red flag of concern. Usually we find that our instincts are right.

Long distance relationships always need more effort in quality time, communication & care expressed. Unfortunately, distance wasn’t the only factor working against your relationship. University and the exploring of new experiences, activities, friends as well as studies, always effects relationships (positively & negatively). Its one thing to try and stay focused on your degree, but add an active social life and now we’ve got to make sacrifices.

You’ve been doing the right thing, at least you have tried to keep in contact and made yourself available for communication, unfortunately you can not force someone else to do the same.

You may have to accept that she may have found someone else or is no longer interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you. Either way, it would be unfair to ask or expect you to put your plans on hold for no guarantees. Be careful to not chase someone that doesn’t want to be chased, nor prioritises you in the same way.

Mrs Vito