I Think He Is Ghosting Me?…

Dear Mrs Vito,

I work in the City and was bumping into a guy during my commutes, slowly our smiles turned into “Hellos” and
our “Hellos” turned into conversation, exchange in numbers and meet ups for drinks etc.

We get on so well, and I’ve been enjoying getting to know him.
But there are times when contact has been non existent. The 1st time it started to happen, it was only a few days with out contact, which I felt was normal, as we live busy lives. Then it was weeks with out contact and finally months.boyfriend is never around
When i’ve asked, he just says he has been busy, or he had to travel for work etc, but if he likes me why cant he just keep me posted? 

Dear Anon,

My general rule of thumb is that if someone is “ghosting” on you, they are not worth your time!

I believe that when he is around, he probably does like spending time with you. However that “Like” hasn’t caused him to respect your time, effort, or availability enough.

The act of “ghosting” on a person indicates that they are not that interested. What he is successfully doing is creating more confusion, by disappearing and then randomly appearing with no real justification; “busy” isn’t good enough, we are all busy, but you chose to make time. This behaviour is also quite controlling, because you are always waiting on him, there’s no equal footing in this dating-relationship.

Your over availability allows for him to come in and out of your life. He knows you are interested in him, because you are willing to entertain him even after his disappearing act. Set boundaries to safe guard your heart before you are too vested. You deserve more than the minimum he is offering, he should at least be trying to match your efforts with more consideration, quality time, care, respect, communication, trust, appreciation and friendship.

No one is saying that you can’t travel for work or personal reasons, but it is common courtesy to communicate your whereabouts with those that you love and care for. A basic act of respect by sending an e-mail, making a call or sending a text to state that you are out of town etc, is not too much to ask from anyone. But when someone thinks that they don’t have to, they won’t.

His “ghosting” sounds like its a habit, he may not be like this with everyone, but from what he is showing you, its unacceptable.
It wouldn’t be wise for you to accept such behaviour from him, because in the long run he could easily leave for longer and not think he needs to tell you where he is going or when he’ll be back. What you accept now, you will have to live with and will ultimately pay for later.

Mrs Vito


Are all Men Dawgs?

I hear too many times Women complain about Men…..

‘All Men are Dawgs’… ‘All Men are Liars’… ‘All Men are Cheaters’… ‘All Men are the Same’…

In these instances this is coming from a place of hurt. There is no denying that in the past you may have been hurt by a guy, yes he may have lied, cheated, been abusive, etc and No you didn’t deserve it. But to generalise all Men as Liars, Cheaters & Dawgs  etc is not healthy.

I recommend dealing with the hurt that was caused, you need to acknowledge that who ever caused the hurt is not worth your time, love or thoughts. Name and shame the person, not publicly but privately sometimes we make excuses for the dumb stuff they did and never really deal with the raw fact that he was dishonest. We need to;

‘Stop Rewarding Bad Behaviour with Dedication’ – @MrVitoSpeaks

The sooner you start to deal with your past mistakes and clear out tainted views of ‘All Men’, the sooner you’ll be able to SEE yourself being approached by a Genuine, Honest and Faithful Man. You will not recognise Love that you have not prepared for.

Chivalry – Derived from the Medieval Times and linked to the customs of medieval knighthood; a Knight was expected to be courageous, generous and courteous.


However, fast forward 1500 years and Chivalry is seen as something that’s ‘Dead’ or that Men have ‘old fashioned’ views like;

1 – Holding the Door open

2 – Walking on the side of the pavement closest to the road

3 – Offering to help you carry your heavy load

4 –  Offering his jacket if its cold or raining

5 – Paying for the outing

Yet I hear you saying that these Men are Creepy, Strange, Controlling or only Want Something i.e my money or sex.

I’m not in-denial that there are some guys out their who make love a game, they know what to say & do it to get the girl to do something in return. I’m talking about the genuine guys who show and act out of love, kindness, who have self control and are gentle.

‘Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?’

Your desire should be to have a Faithful Man who isn’t shy to;

1 –  Honor his word and keep his promises

2 – Actually pay attention to you when you speak

3 – Is honest and doesn’t play Games with the heart of a Genuine woman

4 – Sticks up for you

5 – Is proud to present you to his friends and family.


Women primarily need Security in their relationships, so ideally your Boyfriend, Fiancé, Husband should be making you feel this.

Your past experiences may make it seem like meeting a Man that wants to Protect you, is Sensitive to your needs, is Faithful and has Integrity; is a bad thing.

That being said most women have been given the reputation of being ‘Nagging’, but as a good woman you are unlikely to “Nag”  if he meets the above requirements.


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Love & Blessings