On a “Break” but his Ex-Girl is Pregnant

Dear Mrs Vito,

I had been with my boyfriend for under a year, things were good for a while until we hit a rocky period which resulted in us taking a break in our relationship. During that break he got his Ex-girlfriend pregnant and I found out from a mutual friend. I love him but I cant believe he slept with his Ex and she’s pregnant.

Dear Anon,

I usually say that if you have a “break” in your relationship, it is probably for a good reason. Now its not to say that things can’t be worked out, but that is only when you have two willing participants and from the sounds of things, your ex-boyfriend already found another way to occupy his time.

Obviously, there could be 100 reasons that lead to him and his ex girlfriend being in the same bed, but it doesn’t feel like you were at the forefront of his mind.
Some may say, what happens on a break is irrelevant, as you are now “single” again, and they have a fair point.

So my question is, what are you happy to deal with or compromise on? If you don’t mind the current set up then by all means get back together.
Try talking to him and see what he has to say, maybe he isn’t interested in getting back with you, maybe to him this situation is nothing serious.

I would encourage you to think about what kind of relationship you want. If this bothers you then cut your losses and focus on a man who is going to appreciate you.

Mrs Vito

Rome wasn’t built in a Day & neither is a Wife

{“Rome wasn’t built in a Day & neither is a Wife” – @MrVitoSpeaks}

Are you Single? Are you in a Relationship? Do you want to move from the Relationship you have to the Right kind of Relationship?

I believe that people should be in the Right kind of Relationships…..

This is were you consciously declare and make the decision (despite your past) that the Next Relationship you get in to will be the Right one. This is done by actively choosing to change any negative behaviour, thought process, false expectations, and a commit to actually having and maintaining Self Respect. I definitely had to do it and it is often said that “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result” and I didn’t want to make the same mistakes nor did I want a ‘Go with the flow’ Relationship.

After my last Relationship breakup I went on a Journey and it took me back to the Basics!

The Break-Up

If you are just coming out of a Relationship (Long Term/ Short Term/ Casual etc)  its wise to take a breather and focus on you. Take time out to get to know You again. Most times you would have invested a lot of time with this other person, going out, participating in their hobbies, their habits, principles, thoughts and behaviours.

It’s easy for someone to rub off on you – You really need to re-assess whether the thoughts your thinking are even yours!

A New Focus

In order to get rid of your Old Behaviour and Tainted perceptions of Love, its time to Focus on Developing yourself. Making a consistent effort at being the Best Woman you can be. I recommend updating your library with good books on Relationships, Purpose and Team-work. Exercise your mind, find out what your hobbies are again and do them, go out, re-connect with friends, re-activate your social life, where applicable focus on your faith and spend time alone.

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Time To Work Out What You What

– (With or without a guy) Where do you see yourself?

– What are your Aims, Goals, Dreams?

– Develop your thoughts around sober Self-Confidence and the value of others.

– Build your Self Esteem (So that you don’t find yourself Needing the compliments of Guys to Survive)

Reflective Thought

Analyse your past Relationships honestly, what went wrong?

They say “Hindsight is always 20/20” so utilise that vision to fish out your approach, accept your regrets, forgive yourself and the other person and move on.

Remember to think about the things you need to improve on for your future connection.

When you begin to work through these things you can Start (key word Start) to work on building a wholesome person. I found that as I Invested in my Self & my Development I was genuinely Happy, and no one could take that from me, people could only add to my Happiness. I saw things differently, I was able to tackle things differently, I was in a better place to work out whether or not I was Ready or Even Interested in getting into another Relationship.

xoxo

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Love & Blessings

@Lolasword