Dear Sisters,

I hope my message finds you well.

I write with urgency because I care, this is written out of Truth with Love.

I’ve observed you and It’s important that we address a few things; i.e. your behaviour, attitude and conduct, frankly I’m worried about you.

Remember when we used to sit and talk about how our future would be? Remember when we would look at rowdy, foul-mouthed girls and squirm in disapproval, not because we were judging, but because we knew that it wasn’t the life we wanted. Remember when we would be approached by boys yet we were genuinely not interested, because we didn’t want to end up with diseases, broken hearts or farther-less children?

What happened?……You’ve changed.

This isn’t how things were supposed to plan out. You are better than this and I need you to believe that. This way of life is not satisfying, neither will it lead to happiness.

Things need to change for the better and I want to help. I hope you will be able to see that, a true friend will risk everything to try to help you, be honest with you and speak the Truth to you, regardless of the consequences, you just need to be strong enough to look past the immediate discomfort and see the Love.

I want you to see yourself as a Precious, Expensive Diamond. Diamonds are beautiful and highly sought after, they should be protected, kept safe and are very expensive. So why do you act like coal?

I want you to know that as a Woman, your sole purpose was not to lie on your back, produce babies, please others or be used. I want you to know that I’m not denying that you need to be Loved, but you insist on demanding Respect.

My Husband always says “Women Need Love and Men Need Respect”

I want you to know that society nor the media make things easy for us, we have to work harder at times, but nothing in life comes easy.

So Stop what you’re doing, take a step back and Look at your Life. Are you truly happy with how things have turned out? Do you want to see a change?

Because I Know you deserve so much more, but it starts with You!

Firstly you need to be realistic with yourself and start thinking of all the things you used to enjoy that were killing your body, hopes and dreams. Then forgive yourself for your mistakes, circumstances and the experiences you put yourself through. Because lets face it, we can’t continue to blame everyone else for some of the things we got caught up in. Obviously there are some exceptions i.e abuse, but healing comes from dealing with and not denying things.

Secondly, You need to value yourself, even if no one else does right now. Once you start placing a value on yourself & start to see yourself as an Expensive, Beautiful Diamond you will act differently. Just think about how Expensive Jewellery Shops treat Diamonds… Most times they have security within the shop, not any one can come into the shop and touch up what they like, you need permission to be assisted to look at & handle a Diamond.

Think of yourself in the same way, stop allowing any Tom, Dick or Harry into your Shop, Stop allowing any Tom, Dick or Harry to mis-handle your Diamond, Stop loaning out your Diamond and Stop giving out the password to your Diamond. Value, Worth, Price.. You need to start believing that you are worth more, that you can do something with your life, that you have great skills, talents and abilities that any one would be proud to have you in their life, because you contribute so much more.

Today I want you to start listing all of your Character Traits (ask others what they think of you), then list them into Positive & Negative Attributes. Then focus on all the Positive ones, as those are the ones you want people to notice & those are the ones that will help change your perspective on things. You deserve the best, but you also need to be the best!

You may need to change your group of friends… they say “birds of a feather flock together”, so what good is this New You, this Changed Perspective, if you are always being tempted by the Old way of life? If your fiends laugh at your change, don’t take you seriously & don’t try to encourage it? – You will get no where fast!

With these Steps (which may need to be reinforced several times, as nothing happens over night), you will notice a change in Attitude, you will feel different, speak differently, even your taste in Men will change, you won’t find the same ol’ ‘Dawgs’ attractive. With this change comes a new appreciation for yourself.

Hold yourself accountable for your own expectations @Lolasword

I’m always here to help and would like for you to keep me posted on your growth, so feel free to contact me.

xoxo

Please feel free to subscribe and leave your comments. For Learning Engagements, Problems & Personal Development Enquiries send your emails to; Info.fybconnection@gmail.com

Love & Blessings

@Lolasword

Are all Men Dawgs?

I hear too many times Women complain about Men…..

‘All Men are Dawgs’… ‘All Men are Liars’… ‘All Men are Cheaters’… ‘All Men are the Same’…

In these instances this is coming from a place of hurt. There is no denying that in the past you may have been hurt by a guy, yes he may have lied, cheated, been abusive, etc and No you didn’t deserve it. But to generalise all Men as Liars, Cheaters & Dawgs  etc is not healthy.

I recommend dealing with the hurt that was caused, you need to acknowledge that who ever caused the hurt is not worth your time, love or thoughts. Name and shame the person, not publicly but privately sometimes we make excuses for the dumb stuff they did and never really deal with the raw fact that he was dishonest. We need to;

‘Stop Rewarding Bad Behaviour with Dedication’ – @MrVitoSpeaks

The sooner you start to deal with your past mistakes and clear out tainted views of ‘All Men’, the sooner you’ll be able to SEE yourself being approached by a Genuine, Honest and Faithful Man. You will not recognise Love that you have not prepared for.

Chivalry – Derived from the Medieval Times and linked to the customs of medieval knighthood; a Knight was expected to be courageous, generous and courteous.

holding-doors-510x800

However, fast forward 1500 years and Chivalry is seen as something that’s ‘Dead’ or that Men have ‘old fashioned’ views like;

1 – Holding the Door open

2 – Walking on the side of the pavement closest to the road

3 – Offering to help you carry your heavy load

4 –  Offering his jacket if its cold or raining

5 – Paying for the outing

Yet I hear you saying that these Men are Creepy, Strange, Controlling or only Want Something i.e my money or sex.

I’m not in-denial that there are some guys out their who make love a game, they know what to say & do it to get the girl to do something in return. I’m talking about the genuine guys who show and act out of love, kindness, who have self control and are gentle.

‘Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?’

Your desire should be to have a Faithful Man who isn’t shy to;

1 –  Honor his word and keep his promises

2 – Actually pay attention to you when you speak

3 – Is honest and doesn’t play Games with the heart of a Genuine woman

4 – Sticks up for you

5 – Is proud to present you to his friends and family.

Chivalry

Women primarily need Security in their relationships, so ideally your Boyfriend, Fiancé, Husband should be making you feel this.

Your past experiences may make it seem like meeting a Man that wants to Protect you, is Sensitive to your needs, is Faithful and has Integrity; is a bad thing.

That being said most women have been given the reputation of being ‘Nagging’, but as a good woman you are unlikely to “Nag”  if he meets the above requirements.

xoxo

Please feel free to subscribe and leave your comments. For Learning Engagements, Problems & Personal Development Enquiries send your emails to; Info.fybconnection@gmail.com

Love & Blessings

@Lolasword