Dear Sisters,

I hope my message finds you well.

I write with urgency because I care, this is written out of Truth with Love.

I’ve observed you and It’s important that we address a few things; i.e. your behaviour, attitude and conduct, frankly I’m worried about you.

Remember when we used to sit and talk about how our future would be? Remember when we would look at rowdy, foul-mouthed girls and squirm in disapproval, not because we were judging, but because we knew that it wasn’t the life we wanted. Remember when we would be approached by boys yet we were genuinely not interested, because we didn’t want to end up with diseases, broken hearts or farther-less children?

What happened?……You’ve changed.

This isn’t how things were supposed to plan out. You are better than this and I need you to believe that. This way of life is not satisfying, neither will it lead to happiness.

Things need to change for the better and I want to help. I hope you will be able to see that, a true friend will risk everything to try to help you, be honest with you and speak the Truth to you, regardless of the consequences, you just need to be strong enough to look past the immediate discomfort and see the Love.

I want you to see yourself as a Precious, Expensive Diamond. Diamonds are beautiful and highly sought after, they should be protected, kept safe and are very expensive. So why do you act like coal?

I want you to know that as a Woman, your sole purpose was not to lie on your back, produce babies, please others or be used. I want you to know that I’m not denying that you need to be Loved, but you insist on demanding Respect.

My Husband always says “Women Need Love and Men Need Respect”

I want you to know that society nor the media make things easy for us, we have to work harder at times, but nothing in life comes easy.

So Stop what you’re doing, take a step back and Look at your Life. Are you truly happy with how things have turned out? Do you want to see a change?

Because I Know you deserve so much more, but it starts with You!

Firstly you need to be realistic with yourself and start thinking of all the things you used to enjoy that were killing your body, hopes and dreams. Then forgive yourself for your mistakes, circumstances and the experiences you put yourself through. Because lets face it, we can’t continue to blame everyone else for some of the things we got caught up in. Obviously there are some exceptions i.e abuse, but healing comes from dealing with and not denying things.

Secondly, You need to value yourself, even if no one else does right now. Once you start placing a value on yourself & start to see yourself as an Expensive, Beautiful Diamond you will act differently. Just think about how Expensive Jewellery Shops treat Diamonds… Most times they have security within the shop, not any one can come into the shop and touch up what they like, you need permission to be assisted to look at & handle a Diamond.

Think of yourself in the same way, stop allowing any Tom, Dick or Harry into your Shop, Stop allowing any Tom, Dick or Harry to mis-handle your Diamond, Stop loaning out your Diamond and Stop giving out the password to your Diamond. Value, Worth, Price.. You need to start believing that you are worth more, that you can do something with your life, that you have great skills, talents and abilities that any one would be proud to have you in their life, because you contribute so much more.

Today I want you to start listing all of your Character Traits (ask others what they think of you), then list them into Positive & Negative Attributes. Then focus on all the Positive ones, as those are the ones you want people to notice & those are the ones that will help change your perspective on things. You deserve the best, but you also need to be the best!

You may need to change your group of friends… they say “birds of a feather flock together”, so what good is this New You, this Changed Perspective, if you are always being tempted by the Old way of life? If your fiends laugh at your change, don’t take you seriously & don’t try to encourage it? – You will get no where fast!

With these Steps (which may need to be reinforced several times, as nothing happens over night), you will notice a change in Attitude, you will feel different, speak differently, even your taste in Men will change, you won’t find the same ol’ ‘Dawgs’ attractive. With this change comes a new appreciation for yourself.

Hold yourself accountable for your own expectations @Lolasword

I’m always here to help and would like for you to keep me posted on your growth, so feel free to contact me.


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Love & Blessings


First Date Deal Breaker


“You have an amazing evening with a handsome, intelligent man, the date goes really really well…and then at the END he invites you back to his place for sex. 1st date! Do you dismiss him ? Even though he apologizes and states that sex on the 1st date is what a lot of women do these days after an expensive night on the town, but he is GLAD that you’re different and wants to see you again????”

Regardless of how Handsome or Intelligent the Man is, an invitation for Sex on the First Date is way too far.

Caution: If Sex on the first date is what other girls offer, how many girls has he taken up on this offer?

Seeing this Man again will depend on what you place an importance on. What do you value most? Are you bothered by what you’ve just been asked? How much Respect do you place on your self / on your body? Does he have the right to sample something he hasn’t made a ring sacrifice for? – All I know is that I would be offended.

As a Virtuous Woman, who wants to be Loved by the Right Man if you know you deserve more and To be honest if he is ‘GLAD’ that you are different, then he will appreciate your decline and/or serious talking to.

If in fact you declined & explained that you were not interested and were put off by his request, would he be willing to still show interest in you and continue Courting you?

There’s no harm in continuing your dates, but only with clear guidelines that there will be no sex before marriage, you need to be realistic, consciously or unconsciously he has put a disclaimer out there ‘I’m interested in Sex’. Question is how many ‘Expensive’ dates will you take before you ‘give it up?’. To me it sounds as if He knows the right things to say.

Do not be enticed or seduced by money, flashy, shiny, expensive, designer things – you will find yourself enslaved to it!

Would it make a difference if I said Don’t fall in to that trap, start as you mean to go on & that’s with a Faithful, Confident, Loving and Respectful Man where you’re both aiming for a Monogamous Relationship.

Place a higher value on a persons Character, don’t get it twisted, every one has control over what they say & every one is aware of what they say. So for him to think a simple apology is good enough to pacify your concern is unacceptable. He knew what he was asking and decided to take a risk in asking it.

Guard your Heart!


Please feel free to subscribe and leave your comments. For Learning Engagements, Problems & Personal Development Enquiries send your emails to;

Love & Blessings