Tag: Relationships

First Date Deal Breaker

fybconnectionLeave a comment

date1

“You have an amazing evening with a handsome, intelligent man, the date goes really really well…and then at the END he invites you back to his place for sex. 1st date! Do you dismiss him ? Even though he apologizes and states that sex on the 1st date is what a lot of women do these days after an expensive night on the town, but he is GLAD that you’re different and wants to see you again????”

Regardless of how Handsome or Intelligent the Man is, an invitation for Sex on the First Date is way too far.

Caution: If Sex on the first date is what other girls offer, how many girls has he taken up on this offer?

Seeing this Man again will depend on what you place an importance on. What do you value most? Are you bothered by what you’ve just been asked? How much Respect do you place on your self / on your body? Does he have the right to sample something he hasn’t made a ring sacrifice for? – All I know is that I would be offended.

As a Virtuous Woman, who wants to be Loved by the Right Man if you know you deserve more and To be honest if he is ‘GLAD’ that you are different, then he will appreciate your decline and/or serious talking to.

If in fact you declined & explained that you were not interested and were put off by his request, would he be willing to still show interest in you and continue Courting you?

There’s no harm in continuing your dates, but only with clear guidelines that there will be no sex before marriage, you need to be realistic, consciously or unconsciously he has put a disclaimer out there ‘I’m interested in Sex’. Question is how many ‘Expensive’ dates will you take before you ‘give it up?’. To me it sounds as if He knows the right things to say.

Do not be enticed or seduced by money, flashy, shiny, expensive, designer things – you will find yourself enslaved to it!

Would it make a difference if I said Don’t fall in to that trap, start as you mean to go on & that’s with a Faithful, Confident, Loving and Respectful Man where you’re both aiming for a Monogamous Relationship.

Place a higher value on a persons Character, don’t get it twisted, every one has control over what they say & every one is aware of what they say. So for him to think a simple apology is good enough to pacify your concern is unacceptable. He knew what he was asking and decided to take a risk in asking it.

Guard your Heart!

xoxo

Please feel free to subscribe and leave your comments. For Learning Engagements, Problems & Personal Development Enquiries send your emails to; Info.fybconnection@gmail.com

Love & Blessings

@Lolasword

Rome wasn’t built in a Day & neither is a Wife

fybconnection2 Comments

{“Rome wasn’t built in a Day & neither is a Wife” – @MrVitoSpeaks}

Are you Single? Are you in a Relationship? Do you want to move from the Relationship you have to the Right kind of Relationship?

I believe that people should be in the Right kind of Relationships…..

This is were you consciously declare and make the decision (despite your past) that the Next Relationship you get in to will be the Right one. This is done by actively choosing to change any negative behaviour, thought process, false expectations, and a commit to actually having and maintaining Self Respect. I definitely had to do it and it is often said that “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result” and I didn’t want to make the same mistakes nor did I want a ‘Go with the flow’ Relationship.

After my last Relationship breakup I went on a Journey and it took me back to the Basics!

The Break-Up

If you are just coming out of a Relationship (Long Term/ Short Term/ Casual etc)  its wise to take a breather and focus on you. Take time out to get to know You again. Most times you would have invested a lot of time with this other person, going out, participating in their hobbies, their habits, principles, thoughts and behaviours.

It’s easy for someone to rub off on you – You really need to re-assess whether the thoughts your thinking are even yours!

A New Focus

In order to get rid of your Old Behaviour and Tainted perceptions of Love, its time to Focus on Developing yourself. Making a consistent effort at being the Best Woman you can be. I recommend updating your library with good books on Relationships, Purpose and Team-work. Exercise your mind, find out what your hobbies are again and do them, go out, re-connect with friends, re-activate your social life, where applicable focus on your faith and spend time alone.

Hearts Rebuilding Homes logo

Time To Work Out What You What

– (With or without a guy) Where do you see yourself?

– What are your Aims, Goals, Dreams?

– Develop your thoughts around sober Self-Confidence and the value of others.

– Build your Self Esteem (So that you don’t find yourself Needing the compliments of Guys to Survive)

Reflective Thought

Analyse your past Relationships honestly, what went wrong?

They say “Hindsight is always 20/20” so utilise that vision to fish out your approach, accept your regrets, forgive yourself and the other person and move on.

Remember to think about the things you need to improve on for your future connection.

When you begin to work through these things you can Start (key word Start) to work on building a wholesome person. I found that as I Invested in my Self & my Development I was genuinely Happy, and no one could take that from me, people could only add to my Happiness. I saw things differently, I was able to tackle things differently, I was in a better place to work out whether or not I was Ready or Even Interested in getting into another Relationship.

xoxo

Please feel free to subscribe and leave your comments. For Learning Engagements, Problems & Personal Development Enquiries send your emails to;

Info.fybconnection@gmail.com

Love & Blessings

@Lolasword

My Natural Bridal Hair Choice

fybconnectionLeave a comment

So, I previously mentioned that I’m a new wife. Well that’s because my beau & I got married in July this year – 27 days ago… whooohooo!!  😀

It was absolutely A-MAZ-ING! Such a beautiful day with our friends and family it was fantastic, every time I look back at pictures or remember the day itself I’m filled with immense joy.  I want to do it again 😀 (with out the planning & stress involved of course, lol). I truly hope that all my friends find someone special to marry, as its such a beautiful blessing! Xx

Everything was perfect, from the decorations, to my husbands suit, to my dress &  make-up and finally my hair. You may or may not know this, but I have natural afro hair, always have and always will. I’m not one of those; new age natural hair extremists, I don’t take much note of hair types i.e. Type 4a/4b/4c (this doesn’t mean its not important or useful information) nor am I a ‘transitioner’. I’m just me, a young lady that has always been natural, so I instinctively know what to do & what not to do with & to my hair. I have never permed or chemically enhanced my hair -ever.

When I was younger my mum would not allow  me to perm my hair, she would say, when I’m 16yrs old I could do what I want, and I wanted to perm it!… why not? My friends did & it looked nice it would flow in the wind and I wanted that………. Funnily enough when I reached my 16th birthday I had totally forgotten the ‘deal’. After receiving so many compliments on how soft my hair was; how it was nice, long, lovely & natural and how I should not perm it,my curiosity to relax or perm my hair soon died &  to be honest I have to:

1) Thank my mum for not taking it upon herself to perm my hair.

2) Thank myself for not deciding to perm my hair.

3) Thank those in the past that encouraged me to keep my hair natural!

*Words are really powerful – ‘The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.’

I’m not going to lie, having natural hair does come with its difficulties, one of these (for me) was deciding what style to do for my wedding. I noticed that some people revert to finding a way to straighten it, with hot combs or straighteners, others cover it up in weave, a few do braids and extensions, whilst others rock a fro. I decided to #KeepItNatural!

I wanted a style that emphasised curls, something different to my usual twist out and so I came accross a picture of Yaya DaCosta, American Actress & Fashion Model and thought, BINGO! It looked as though she had straightened her hair & then used a curling iron to achive her curls & then styled it. However I wanted minimal heat usage & damage, so my stylist for the day blow dried my hair out, not to the straightest, but just so we had length, then she tied the back into a doughnut bun and left some hair out in the front. The curls in the front were acheived with a curling wand and I had several diamante hair pins placed around my doughnut bun for finishing touches.

My accomplished look:

Ringlets

 

I was and I am really happy with the way my bridal hair style turned out, I personally wanted to stay true to myself, I wanted a style I felt comfortable in/with, something that was me, that I could do again. I had many people suggest I do my hair in weave, yet I’m not one for extreme change and to be honest I wanted to look back at my pictures and recognise that its me. So I just want to encourage those of you who have natural hair & even those that don’t, to keep things simple, do what you want to do – if there’s a will there’s a way!

I hope you are encouraged to #KeepItNatural when it comes to your wedding or just generally.

Stay tuned for further Posts on: My Bridesmaids hair styles, Afro/Natural Hair Types, Natural Hair styles & products and Info on Married Life thus far!

Lx