On a “Break” but his Ex-Girl is Pregnant

Dear Mrs Vito,

I had been with my boyfriend for under a year, things were good for a while until we hit a rocky period which resulted in us taking a break in our relationship. During that break he got his Ex-girlfriend pregnant and I found out from a mutual friend. I love him but I cant believe he slept with his Ex and she’s pregnant.

Dear Anon,

I usually say that if you have a “break” in your relationship, it is probably for a good reason. Now its not to say that things can’t be worked out, but that is only when you have two willing participants and from the sounds of things, your ex-boyfriend already found another way to occupy his time.

Obviously, there could be 100 reasons that lead to him and his ex girlfriend being in the same bed, but it doesn’t feel like you were at the forefront of his mind.
Some may say, what happens on a break is irrelevant, as you are now “single” again, and they have a fair point.

So my question is, what are you happy to deal with or compromise on? If you don’t mind the current set up then by all means get back together.
Try talking to him and see what he has to say, maybe he isn’t interested in getting back with you, maybe to him this situation is nothing serious.

I would encourage you to think about what kind of relationship you want. If this bothers you then cut your losses and focus on a man who is going to appreciate you.

Mrs Vito

No no no You Don’t Love Me

You may or may not know that Dawn Penn (a Jamaican reggae singer) sang the once popular song – “You Don’t Love Me (No, No, No)” (1994)

Every time I sing this song, despite being catchy, the words stand out to me.

That’s because I’m a literal thinker and I find fault in the lyrics.

I’m going to dissect this song in 3 posts; comparing it to real life and I’m sure some of you will directly or indirectly identify with the points we are about to explore.

However, what you do with this awareness is important.

*NB: The below comparison is based on the premise that one person in the relationship has done something wrong whilst the other person has been ‘good’ to them.

You dont love me

1) “No no no, You don’t Love me and I Know Now”

Many times I’ve heard some one say, “He/She doesn’t love me any more”… or “I don’t think he/she loved me from the start”.

In reply I’ve heard people say “He/She is just not in to you”. – This could be true..

The song says “you don’t love me AND I KNOW NOW” – As soon as you know someone doesn’t love you any more, something is supposed to; happen, change, react or evolve within you or around you. News like this would provoke some sort of reaction or response from you; i.e feel upset, hurt, unhappy, wanting to let go of things with that person, moving out, changing your perception and the like.

But time and time again, they find themselves in the same ol’ situation, nothing changes, no improvement made, no new declarations of ones undying love to make them stay. Yet the girl or guy still remains in the unhealthy relationship.

I call it unhealthy relationship because if you were in a healthy relationship, shouldn’t you both experience Love, Commitment, Faithfulness, Time, Effort, Companionship, Dedication, Trust & Respect that you rightly deserve?

What do you think you deserve?

xoxo

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Love & Blessings

@Lolasword