Edited Beauty

(Dove Evolution) This isn’t the only type of Video out there, but I thought that it and many others were apt in addressing some of the issues we see in society today. It’s still shocking to see the unrealistic, shallow, stereotypical changes that pictures go through. I work with many young girls and know a […]

Dear Sisters,

I hope my message finds you well.

I write with urgency because I care, this is written out of Truth with Love.

I’ve observed you and It’s important that we address a few things; i.e. your behaviour, attitude and conduct, frankly I’m worried about you.

Remember when we used to sit and talk about how our future would be? Remember when we would look at rowdy, foul-mouthed girls and squirm in disapproval, not because we were judging, but because we knew that it wasn’t the life we wanted. Remember when we would be approached by boys yet we were genuinely not interested, because we didn’t want to end up with diseases, broken hearts or farther-less children?

What happened?……You’ve changed.

This isn’t how things were supposed to plan out. You are better than this and I need you to believe that. This way of life is not satisfying, neither will it lead to happiness.

Things need to change for the better and I want to help. I hope you will be able to see that, a true friend will risk everything to try to help you, be honest with you and speak the Truth to you, regardless of the consequences, you just need to be strong enough to look past the immediate discomfort and see the Love.

I want you to see yourself as a Precious, Expensive Diamond. Diamonds are beautiful and highly sought after, they should be protected, kept safe and are very expensive. So why do you act like coal?

I want you to know that as a Woman, your sole purpose was not to lie on your back, produce babies, please others or be used. I want you to know that I’m not denying that you need to be Loved, but you insist on demanding Respect.

My Husband always says “Women Need Love and Men Need Respect”

I want you to know that society nor the media make things easy for us, we have to work harder at times, but nothing in life comes easy.

So Stop what you’re doing, take a step back and Look at your Life. Are you truly happy with how things have turned out? Do you want to see a change?

Because I Know you deserve so much more, but it starts with You!

Firstly you need to be realistic with yourself and start thinking of all the things you used to enjoy that were killing your body, hopes and dreams. Then forgive yourself for your mistakes, circumstances and the experiences you put yourself through. Because lets face it, we can’t continue to blame everyone else for some of the things we got caught up in. Obviously there are some exceptions i.e abuse, but healing comes from dealing with and not denying things.

Secondly, You need to value yourself, even if no one else does right now. Once you start placing a value on yourself & start to see yourself as an Expensive, Beautiful Diamond you will act differently. Just think about how Expensive Jewellery Shops treat Diamonds… Most times they have security within the shop, not any one can come into the shop and touch up what they like, you need permission to be assisted to look at & handle a Diamond.

Think of yourself in the same way, stop allowing any Tom, Dick or Harry into your Shop, Stop allowing any Tom, Dick or Harry to mis-handle your Diamond, Stop loaning out your Diamond and Stop giving out the password to your Diamond. Value, Worth, Price.. You need to start believing that you are worth more, that you can do something with your life, that you have great skills, talents and abilities that any one would be proud to have you in their life, because you contribute so much more.

Today I want you to start listing all of your Character Traits (ask others what they think of you), then list them into Positive & Negative Attributes. Then focus on all the Positive ones, as those are the ones you want people to notice & those are the ones that will help change your perspective on things. You deserve the best, but you also need to be the best!

You may need to change your group of friends… they say “birds of a feather flock together”, so what good is this New You, this Changed Perspective, if you are always being tempted by the Old way of life? If your fiends laugh at your change, don’t take you seriously & don’t try to encourage it? – You will get no where fast!

With these Steps (which may need to be reinforced several times, as nothing happens over night), you will notice a change in Attitude, you will feel different, speak differently, even your taste in Men will change, you won’t find the same ol’ ‘Dawgs’ attractive. With this change comes a new appreciation for yourself.

Hold yourself accountable for your own expectations @Lolasword

I’m always here to help and would like for you to keep me posted on your growth, so feel free to contact me.


Please feel free to subscribe and leave your comments. For Learning Engagements, Problems & Personal Development Enquiries send your emails to; Info.fybconnection@gmail.com

Love & Blessings


My Milkshake Brings all the Boys to the Yarrd!!….

And then what?…

According to Kelis, “milkshake” in the song is used as a metaphor for “something that makes women special”…. others have said that the “milkshake” stands for the woman’s sex appeal; It means she attracts all the guys in the area just by appearing there.

What ever “Milkshake” means to you (in this example/context) please make sure you seek to analyse it, and question if its right or ok to use it in such a way.

For example; Is your “Milkshake” your looks, a specific body part/asset, your intelligence?!?! etc….

I see too many girls, ladies, females etc using their ‘beauty’ to attract, however they fail to keep the guys attention for long periods of time. I don’t know about you, but i feel like my eyes are being bombarded with girls, women who refuse to keep their body parts to themselves.

See through Leggings
Inappropriately See Through Leggings

From walking the streets and spotting under-dressed women, in see through leggings, overly revealing tops, ‘batty riders’ (with or with out Sun shine), to the likes of  Social Networking sites (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc) where girls insist on posting up pictures revealing way too much.


Pictures say a thousand words, if you’re a single young female looking to at some point settle in to a committed loving relationship, what do you want your future partner to know about you? How do you want to be seen? Is this really ok? Why is it seemingly acceptable to upload a picture like the above and then write a caption like ‘I love God’. This doesn’t add up.

I’m all for women looking beautiful, but my issue is with the way women are lacking Decorum.

Decorum – appropriate behaviour, good manners, decency, demeanor, respectability, dignity, politeness…

Showing more flesh doesn’t mean you’re more beautiful, wearing minimal clothing doesn’t grant you more respect, revealing more body parts doesn’t get you Love, leaving the house in ill-fitting clothes doesn’t mean Men find you more attractive. In fact Men are forced to look by default, that’s just how they are wired.

I totally understand that you want to be noticed, seen, loved, adored, included etc but this is not the way forward.

What is wrong with looking Attractive in a  Respectable way?… Does it sound boring?… Well, it doesn’t need to be!


You say you want a Real Man to love you, value you, show you commitment, yet wonder why you are only attracting the  same ol’ Dawgs, Players & Boys?!

Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain because it is not lasting.

Your natural beauty is what will attract The Right Man and/or Respectable Attention. If you are looking to attract the Right kind of Man then what you actually want to do is increase your Confidence, as that’s more attractive than cleavage. I know that I feel more attractive and confident wearing clothing that’s comfortable, that fits, that shows off my assets, not reveals my asset. If I’m wearing make up its to enhance my beauty, highlight my eyes, cheek bones etc not to totally appear as a different person or complexion.

Respectable Men are more attracted to you if you:

– Smile; a warm smile is very attractive, you look nicer when you smile.

– Are Genuinely Friendly and Humble

– Are Honest; being transparent is key, no game playing, be honest, tell the truth, you don’t need to lie it’s not worth it.

– Are Confident; get comfortable in your own skin, work with what God gave you. You were Fearfully & Wonderfully made.

– Are Knowledgeable; smart, well read etc. No one is asking for a genius, but at least be knowledgeable about the things you take interest in, your field of work etc. If you end up meeting someone who is in a similar field to you, your able to hold a conversation, you’ll have something in common & you’ll seem intelligent.

As my husband says you want a..

“Beauty that attracts, Love that keeps and Faith that Makes”. – @MrVitoSpeaks


Please feel free to subscribe and leave your comments. For Learning Engagements, Problems & Personal Development Enquiries send your emails to; Info.fybconnection@gmail.com

Love & Blessings