Start As You Mean To Go On

Even though January is almost over, we can still set the tone for your life this year (and hopefully the years to come).

blank list of resolutions on blackboard

However, this isn’t another New Years Resolution!.. Ooooh No… This is more like a commitment to Personal Development.

(Most) People have good intentions, vowing to become better by drawing up a list of activities to resolve i.e;

– I will quit smoking
– I will join a gym
– I will become a vegetarian
– I will quit my boring job
– I will pray more
– I will pay off my credit cards/debts

It all reminds me of those ‘quick fix’ diets… I have this image of someone scrambling around to list all the things they need to change, preferably really quickly, yet never really getting round to doing them or keeping to them… Or is that just my imagination?

Quick Fix:
~ A hastily contrived remedy that alleviates a problem only for the time being
~ An expedient temporary solution, esp. one that merely postpones coping with an overall problem. (thefreedictionary.com)

For example, those that aim to lose weight fast, might start dieting and give themselves a target to reach i.e in 2 weeks for a sunny holiday. Sometimes they reach the target, go on holiday, are extremely happy and upon returning the diets out the window, they resort to how things used to be.

So the diet ends up being a temporary vice. This might be a silly question, but I pose that instead of ‘quick fix dieting’ shouldn’t we just alter our eating habits, lifestyle, the way we view food, what we buy and increase our knowledge on what’s in the meal??

Wouldn’t this have a lasting effect on steady, healthy weight loss, which can be maintained for life?

Well, the same applies to you becoming a better person in regards to Self Improvement and Personal Development.

‘Start as you mean to go on’ is me basically daring you to do things differently this time round. Instead of ‘New Years Resolutions’ aim to Live a Purposeful Life of Personal Development.

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Get organised and prepared by following the below Steps to help kick-start your Journey:

  1. Take time out to really assess what personal skills you need to develop, improve on, change  or issues you need to resolve.
  2. Look for Seminars, Events, Courses that you can attend to help re-educate yourself about the area/issue.
  3. Buy a book or two around that subject, area or issue. As learning is a lifelong process.
  4. Sign yourself up for Counselling to help deal with unresolved issues that will and can affect your future self.
  5. Look for a Mentor to help encourage your new skill, or help you on your journey.
  6. Make sure the friends you keep are there to help, encourage and keep you accountable on your personal development.
  7. Buy a notebook, I’m sure you’ll need to write something down.
  8. Let me know how you get on and /or contact me for any advice/support.

(Feel free to check out my ‘Mentoring Services’ Page)

xoxo

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For Learning Engagements, Problems & Personal Development Enquiries send your emails to; Info.fybconnection@gmail.com

Love & Blessings

@Lolasword

Obsessed with Women

man looking at woman
“As a 20 something year old man, i find that i’m very obsessed about women.
I find myself looking at almost any and every woman in a lustful manner, staring at their breasts and ass.
I try to control myself but it only works sometimes and doesn’t last long and I end up looking at them even more.
I watch porn to satisfy my desires, it helps me to calm down myself. After masturbating I feel much better.
Is it ok for me to do this? Is watching porn wrong?
Please help.”
The first step in changing is acknowledging that there is a problem.
Firstly, watching Porn does not help your situation, despite feeling “calm” after watching Porn or feeling “much better” after Masturbating. This only causes a short term satisfaction, that keeps you wanting more. Porn & Masturbation are addictive and have dire consequences in regards to difficulty in maintaining relationships.
Secondly, Porn is Fantasy and can never match Reality. It will distort your image of women and relationships and hinders the (real sexual/intimate) experience you would like to have with your wife. You need to be aware that your Porn use, plus masturbation perpetuates your opinion on women and how you see them, thus creating a cycle.
Right now, Porn and Masturbation has been given a hold in your life, its been given control and is now causing you to focus on women in more of a demeaning way i.e only focussing on their breasts or ass.
You may think that this issue is more to do with hormones or how you feel, when actually it’s more to do with control of your mind. Its possible that the “Lustful” Obsession you have could have stemmed from Porn. Nonetheless this perception of women is also feeding your problem. You need to change your perception on Women, Relationships and Sex.
Do not allow yourself to be a slave to addictions such as Porn & Masturbation. Start telling yourself that the right kind of Relationship is one that is Monogamous, where both people are faithful, trustworthy, show love & respect to each other.
My questions to you are; What are you involved in? What are your aims/goal/ambitions/passions in life? Are you currently working? Because if you lack direction it can also feel difficult to replace the activities you currently find yourself in.
In changing your behaviour, you will need to be Self-disciplined and Take Control of your urges. Systems that you will Need to put in place to help you:
– Dispose of/ bin, get rid of, delete any Pornographic material you have. (on your PC/Laptop/phone/Books/Magazines etc)
– Install Anti-Porn software on your devices.
– Find someone you trust friend/mentor/pastor etc to be your accountability partner and talk to them when you get urges
– Start reading books on Relationships, Men/Women and Marriage to re-educate your mind.
– Keep yourself busy, get involved in activities, hobbies, socialise, work on a project.
– Don’t isolate yourself
– Pray
– Be persistent and be patient
xoxo

Please feel free to subscribe and leave your comments. For Learning Engagements, Problems & Personal Development Enquiries send your emails to; Info.fybconnection@gmail.com

Love & Blessings

@Lolasword